Sparklers Magazine: family

Finding Purpose In Life After A Loss: Stillbirth

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Words no husband EVER wants to hear from his wife only three weeks into their marriage!

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Make sure you are working at building a forever kind of love!

We had been married for less than a month when we received some devastating news. The little brother of one of our dearest longtime friends had been murdered! The news shook us to our very souls. We faithfully watched the nightly news to see if there had been any breaks in the case and if the monster that had done this had been caught. Night after night as we watched the news, I became more and more anxious. All they ever reported about was the ugly side of humanity, bad, unimaginable things. Wasn’t there anything good to report?

One night I went to bed before my Husband, I was in that state of Hypnagogic. When something startled me, a feeling of uneasiness came across me. I sat up in bed. I could see a silhouette in the door way due to a light shining from the other room. I called out my husband’s name, but no answer. Suddenly I heard a loud thud on the floor next to the bed as I looked back toward the doorway the shadowy image I had seen, was gone! Now don’t ask me why, but I immediately cast myself into the lead role of some cheesy horror film. My imagination went wild. I positioned myself in the middle of the bed, so nothing or no one could reach out from under it and grab me, because obviously, that must be what happened to my poor husband. As I sat there trembling in fear and calling out his name, I became more and more panicked each time it went unanswered. I began to cry uncontrollably. After what seemed like an eternity, (in reality, probably 10 seconds) my husband pops up from the floor and says, “Babe, don't cry, I was just teasing, I didn't mean to upset you”. Playful teasing is a big part of our relationship. I know his teasing is a sign of love and affection. But for weeks now all I've heard about on the nightly news was; murders, home invasions, kidnappings, rapes, abuse, robberies, shootings, etc… I’m a big Sissy! Just thinking about the evil in the world terrifies me and weighs heavy on my heart. I am overly sensitive. Scary movies totally unhinge me, just thinking about the fact that someone could even think up these sick twisted plots. Even haunted houses, Nope, no way, Not this girl! I Hate things popping up, jumping out at me, unexpected loud noises make me jump out of my skin!

What came next stunned us both. Through my sobs, I whispered “I want to go home, I want my Dad.” Now as my sweet Husband heard those words he turned on the light and seeing how distraught I was, he took me in his arms and held me tight. I sat there shaking and sobbing, he tried to reassure me I was okay, everything was okay! I could see how badly he felt, I knew it was not his intention to upset me.

Yet as I sat there in his arms, I couldn't help but feel I was totally justified in feeling hurt and let down, then it occurred to me, that on some level I had really let him down. I hadn’t fully stepped into the role as his wife, giving him my full trust and having faith in him to care for me, just as my Dad always had. I hadn’t fully allowed him to step into the role of husband, provider & protector. I realized that as his wife I needed to help him reach his full potential in his role as husband. I knew I hadn't done everything I could to help build his confidence in his new role. I needed to assure him that I had mentally moved him into the number one role of my protector, that I counted on him to help make me feel safe and secure, that I would rely on him above anyone else.

We adored each other, we were truly, deeply, madly in love, we were best friends, but that night, I realized, that wasn’t enough to sustain a forever marriage. There had to be more!

There had to be a firm foundation of mutual trust and a genuine feeling of safety and security between us. We had to support and encourage each other to realize our full potentials as husband and wife. We had to support each other not only temporally, but also emotionally and spiritually. We had to make a commitment to work hard in this relationship to show each other love, respect and support both in action and word. Once we both more fully understood our roles and responsibilities to each other we were able to start building an eternal marriage.

After all, it is possible to live Mostly Happily Ever After: You just have to be willing to work for it!

xoxo Claudia

Read related article with more relationship info in the February/March 2016 issue of Sparklers Magazine

beyoutiful

In Celebration of National Hugging Day!

Thursday, January 21, 2016

celebrate

The True Gift is in the Giving

Monday, December 14, 2015

“I shall give love to those in need, I’ll show that love by word and deed”.

(words from the hymn “Because I have been given much".)

Offer to watch a single parents kids, so they can finish up some last minute shopping
Drop off some baked goodies to your local fire station, on Christmas Eve
Go caroling/visit or drop off Christmas cards/children's art work to a nursing/retirement home
Drop off new stuffed animal's to your local police station or S.A.F.E. organization
Drop off some flowers to the nurses desk at the hospital (they will know who needs them)
Shovel the snow from a neighbors driveway/sidewalk
Send Christmas cards to Soldiers, Missionaries, Others who won't be home for the Holidays
Drop off children's books to a children's hospital or doctors office
Collect and deliver clothes, books, toys to a shelter
Pick-up some extra wrapping paper & tape and drop it off to a neighbor
Pick-up some personal hygiene items at the dollar store, put in a stocking and deliver to a battered woman's shelter
Call a lonely neighbor/friend/family member just to catch up, listen and show love
Buy a bag of cat/dog food and deliver it to an animal shelter
Bake some treats with your children, then drop them off at their school for the teacher's lounge
Offer to put up Christmas lights for older neighbors or family/friends
Make easy tie blankets and donate to a shelter
Offer to run errands or do some grocery shopping for someone that is in need (a new mom, an elderly person, someone who is sick or recovering, someone who doesn't drive)
Have your family play "Secret Santa" for a family in need
Have your family "Adopt" a Grandparent that doesn't have family near
Make an sincere effort to smile at others, freely give compliments, show kindness & love

Our Family has a long standing tradition of doing service especially during the Holidays. The above list is some of our favorite things to do. We absolutely LOVE this time of year as it reminds us of our Saviors love and example. Our family truly believes that the "gift" is in the giving, we have been so Blessed and received such Joy by including a sincere desire to serve others especially at this time of year. We hope this list helps spark some ideas for your family to get involved with and share in the blessings.

From our family to yours; Have a Blessed and Joyful Holiday Season!

celebrate

Traditions

Sunday, December 06, 2015

Tradition, tradition. TRADITION!!!

This time of year especially, we tend to engage in and celebrate family traditions.

We like to incorporate family heritage traditions into this time of year. One of those is bringing a small part of our Dutch heritage into our traditional Christmas traditions.

Dutch tradition is that Sinterklaas (pictured above)

(who according to the Dutch people is VERY different from Santa Claus)

arrives in the Netherlands the first Saturday after November 11th via steam ship into a local port riding his white horse Amerigo and accompanied by his helper Swarte Piet.

He spends his time visiting hospitals and childrens homes and doing good works. Then on December 5, Sinterklass Eve, we leave out our shoes filled with carrots for his horse.

(pictured below)

Our shoes are traditional Dutch wooden shoes that my grandparents purchased on a trip they took to the Netherlands.

(I repainted them though because they had become weathered over the years, they are at least 50 years old now, and a piece of heritage that I love and cherish)

Traditions and Heritage are such an important connection. They help keep a family connected through time and also distance.

Traditions passed down within a family may get tweaked over the years, but they are usually handed down from generation to generation and cherished by each new family member that experiences it. They hold a special significance within the family.

Traditions, big or small are different from a routine or habit, in that they are done with a specific purpose and meaning. It seems to bring a spirit of excitement and connection. Often stirring a strong feeling of belonging, and cherished memories of a beloved family member.

Traditions are an important and integral part of a families history. They often tell the families story, giving insight to who we are and where we came from. They can tell a story of the history of our heritage. They connect us to loved ones that we may have never even met.

Traditions can help create a strong connection with family members and create a bond, a feeling of being a part of something unique and special.

In a society that has become fast-paced and sometimes a bit impersonal with all the technology that we have come to rely on so heavily this days. In a world that is ever-changing and uncertain, it can be so comforting to have constants in our lives that tie us to family.

Family traditions are an important tool we can use to help instill and reinforce our family unity and values.

By passing on family traditions, we can help our children learn about our family's heritage, culture and religious history.

Traditions also play an important role in showing children the importance of their ancestors, especially that of the role of grandparents. We truly believe that the positive influence of grandparents in the life of our children is paramount to their emotional and behavioral well-being. Bonus, a grandparents involvement in the lives of our children can also help take some of the stress of us parents, we have someone to help share with us the responsibility of nurturing and loving these tiny humans we have been blessed with and help mold them into giving and caring people.

Traditions create positive childhood memories and may help our children grow up happier and into kind and generous adults.

We truly believe that creating and maintaining meaningful traditions for our families, whether big or small is so important.

What traditions do you and your family enjoy?

We would love to hear about them.